About the Founder
I am just a mom who has come to understand the harm that we are imparting on our children, and by extension our society, by the way we school without regard for our humanity.
Witnessing the first belly laugh from my seven-year old in over a year, I struggled to hold back tears so as not to ruin this moment of sheer joy. His step-dad had merely told a silly joke, but the reaction it triggered in Matthew, was a dream come true. The only difference in my son’s life was that I had permanently taken him out of school just two weeks prior. As I watched his body jump up and his eyes brighten, I stood in wonder at what was transpiring before me; my child was coming back to life. Back to his former care-free self. I knew I’d just been given a gift. I knew that our long running nightmare was over.
Only weeks before, we could imagine no way out. The family anxiety over the daily struggle of school felt hopeless. From coaxing him to get up and get ready in the morning, to fighting to get him into the car, then into the school building each day took enormous emotional and physical strength. Fighting over homework and dealing with his moods throughout became our hell. Some days I literally couldn’t drag him inside the school doors, and his crying pleas broke my heart. The ultimate panic hit me when my friend, a social worker in a group home said to me, “You know Marilyn, they could take Matthew away from you for truancy.”
This was all I needed to hear to turn me into Psycho-Mom. Now entering our third year of constant struggle, I felt helpless about how to get my child to cooperate, and exasperated at having to bring him to work with me at my café once again. With no idea where to turn for help–as neither his teachers nor the principal could offer a real cause or solution for his fear of school–I felt alone and without options. Was there no one else who could understand what we went through each day? It didn’t make sense to me why no one bothered to understand that Matthew was authentically panicked by the act of entering school, and that there was something needing to be addressed rather than blindly enforced. My friend’s voicing of this very real possibility sent me into a hysterical response. I found myself standing over my beloved child, screaming as forcefully as I could that they would take him away from me, terror taking over my every cell and injecting it into his. I was in the grips of being the kind of abusive mom I had committed never to be. I could think of no way out, no better response, but to try to bully him into school. Suddenly, at the height of my screaming, a calm thought floated gently into my mind:
“There is some deeper meaning here, something God is trying to show me.”
I’ve since come to understand that there is always a cause behind behaviour, and there is always a loving solution; no matter the circumstances, and no matter the thoughts you currently have about it.
I am a mom who has healed her wounds, who faced the challenges with an open mind asking; what is there here for me to learn and grow from, and how can I now bring that healing to my son’s life, and to all the children.
I have a Bachelor’s degree in Business with a major in Finance, worked a decade in my field, married my high-school sweetheart, had a child, and experienced my life falling apart. The healing journey to wellness brought with it wisdom about life, childhood, emotional maturity, and human capacities. My experience, as well as my son’s, serve as valuable practical validation relating to how we learn, what influences our success most, what is significant in the development of our emotional as well other intelligences, and more.
My journey propels me to offer myself to the children; to be willing to be the voice of their pain and suffering.